So Buried Alive got into its first film festival!
It’s headlining the documentary shorts on the last night of DOCUFEST, a documentary film festival that is part of the Atlanta Underground Film Festival. Here’s the link. The movie is playing August 30th at the Carter Center. It should be awesome.
ALSO…
I’m ordering 1000 NOadventure stickers.
Look for these tasty bitches all around New Orleans in about a month!
Posted in art, movies, Uncategorized
I’ve been wanting to do this NOadventure for a long time. New Orleans to Pass Christian, Mississippi by scooter. We happen to own two 125cc scooters and we use them for commuting and fun, but I’ve always wanted to do a road trip. Beck had work the next day, so Pearce rose to the challenge. This is us about to leave.
The trip took less than 2 hours with a couple of stops along the way. Here’s the route we took:
We went past the park through Mid-City to Gentilly, which is basically like the black Lakeview of New Orleans. If you’ve never been to Gentilly, check it out – it’s beautiful and you can probably buy a mansion there for a song.
Gentilly Blvd. turns into Chef Menteur, which is a fabulous place to find a prostitute. We saw a couple of street walkers on our way out of town.
Further down Chef Menteur, if we didn’t already know we were in Louisiana, we would have sworn we were in Vietnam.
Once you get outside of New Orleans East, we passed by all these cool fishing camps along Lake Catherine – it’s a very enjoyable drive. Our first stop along the way was at Fort Pike, which is pretty fun, but it had just closed. Here’s us at the closed gate.
Even though it was mid-summer, we both wore long sleeve shirts and didn’t sweat at all. The scooters max out above 70mph, but we went about 55-60mph most of the drive. The scooters also get about 80-90 miles per gallon so the whole trip(both ways) cost about 4 dollars per scooter.
After Ft. Pike and the Rigolets, you come up on Mississippi pretty quickly. There’s a little marsh town called Pearlington we went through before the piney woods brought us to Bay St. Louis.
I anticipated going over some metal bridges on the way, but all of them have been replaced with really nice concrete drawbridges since our recent hurricanes. If you don’t know, driving a two-wheeled vehicle over metal grating is tricky. The most impressive new bridge is the 2-miler that spans across the Bay from Bay St. Louis to the beach in Pass Christian. A bit windy!
We finally made it to the beach!
We had alot of fun playing around in the Gulf once we were there and we even saw a couple of dolphins.
On the way back, we had lunch and stopped on this bridge for a couple of photos of the bayou as a storm loomed behind us.
Another benefit of the trip was the discovery of Bayou Sauvage. It has a cool little boardwalk trail through the swamp. I’ll have to check out more of this peaceful little park on another journey.
There are 5 major barrier islands along the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Deer Island is the closest one(only about a mile or so from shore). You can access it from the quaint town of Ocean Springs or if you’re a real beast – swim there from Biloxi. I went to kayak there with Rebecca, but at the last minute she chickened out. She took pictures while I went solo into the Gulf.
When I paddled up, the beach was deserted. It felt good to be completely alone on my own island. I wanted to stick a flag in the ground and claim it as my own, but I didn’t have a flag. I stuck my paddle in the sand instead. The first thing I needed to do on my own island was to develop a currency.
There are no deer on Deer Island, but I’ve heard there are wild boar – I didn’t see any. I did however, see a bunch of dead horseshoe crabs.
Nasty little prehistoric bastard. I can use their carcasses as my currency. Each dead crab equals roughly 12 cents(USD). Here’s 2 more(almost a quarter)!
The south side of the island was really cool. If you stand there and look at the ocean(Gulf of Mexico) you can imagine that this island is just like it was centuries ago. There is no development, just some trees, wild hogs, racoons, gators, eagles, ospreys, and an inland freshwater source. If one was gnarly enough, he could live here off the land for a long time.
The water on the south side(Gulf side) is clearer in the shallows.
I’m searching for life on this deserted island like Tom Hanks in that movie(Philadelphia). I found a washed up rusty metal cylinder.
My own private beach – keep off!
Don’t even think about it. It’s mine.
San Fermin in Nueva Orleans is an annual festival in New Orleans featuring an Encierro (bull run), which replicates and pays homage to the world famous Encierro of Pamplona, Spain, or “The Running of the Bulls.” But in New Orleans, the bulls are rollergirls. This thing rivaled the World Naked Bike Ride for level of awesomeness.
What a killer event! I was reluctant to wake up early for this thing, but it was well worth it. I could see this becoming a huge draw for people to come to New Orleans. I believe that 4 or 5 rollergirl teams participated – the Big Easy Rollergirls(natch) and teams from Houma, BR, Lafayette?, and Jacksonville, FLA. My guess is that 2000 people participated.
I took my buddy Kook with me, but there were plenty of other characters in the crowd.
There were also a shitload of Elvis dudes there.
When the bull running started, the crowd was frenzied.
When the first actual “BULL” showed up, the fun reached riot level.
The bulls largely preyed on the weak, but no one was safe.
And if you were foolish enough to corner a bull, it was curtains for your ass.
Afterwards, everyone celebrated on Decatur street. The Rollergirls took photos with the runners and a lot of sangria flowed.
There were even these dudes on top of the balcony over Molly’s dumping pitchers of water on people to cool them off.
I, of course, had to take my medicine from two rollergirls at the same time. The weird guy on the balcony wanted to watch – to each his own.
Here was the official Bull Mobile pace vehicle.
In the end, everyone had a great time – even this dog.
official site – NOLABULLS.COM
Posted in art, beer, festival, historical, rollergirls, rollerskating, running, socializing, summer, urban, wild animals
We usually go to the Florida Gulf Coast once a year during the summer. Destin has beautiful white sand beaches and crystal water(you can snorkel or scuba dive in it), but this year we went to Ft. Walton(directly west of Destin) which is less surrounded with gigantic barn-like crab restaurants and t-shirt shops.
I told you the water was clear.
Here’s two photos of Beck on the beach. She looks drunk in the second one(but she’s not – it’s just sunnier).
I on the other hand was drunk and nothing mixes with alcohol quite like some tasty waves. I’ve surfed Lake Pontchartrain, but now it was time to bodyboard(AKA boogieboard) the Gulf of Mexico.
Bodyboarding is just like surfing except it’s really easy and cheap. We snatched up these boards for about $30 a piece back in New Orleans. It would’ve been more expensive had we bought them in FLA. A really shitty surfboard is still around $300!
Where we were, the waves were breaking on a sandbar, so we didn’t have to paddle up to speed of the wave; we just waited until the last moment when the wave was upon us and jumped on that sucker. Peep the movie:
Also, since the waves were breaking on the sandbar, we didn’t have to paddle out to the waves – we just waded.
Once I got out there, I was determined to show these 9 year-olds that this was my wave(that’s me with the purple-bottomed board).
Success!
There are places in the world where really huge waves bounce off cliffs or a seawall and rush back into oncoming sea waves, making a wave sandwich – this is called “backwash” and it looks really cool.
Posted in beach, board sports, bodyboarding, coastal, florida, how to, road trip, surfing, water
Guys, I’ve been posting about once a week for almost a year now and so far I’ve done all of the posts myself. After 40-something adventures, I’ve only had 1 guest writer. I have a 60+ hour a week job and usually I’m typing these things in on Sunday nights hours after I go do the adventure.
I need some motherfucking help. Kickball Leagues? Abita Brewery Tour? Tubing? Are you kidding me? If you guys are doing shit like this you should document it and hand over a smartass article to me ASAP.
Fuck.
Posted in Uncategorized
The World Naked Bike Ride or WNBR has been a huge event in cities like Chicago, San Francisco, and other majors around the world for years. It’s a great excuse for people to make a public demonstration about the importance of nude bicycle riding(almost as important as whales).
We have finally spearheaded our first annual event in New Orleans and it was awesome! We started in Washington Square(you know that little park in between Frenchman St. and Elysian Fields?). The ride was through the French Quarter to Canal then back to Washington Square. My guess is about 200 people showed up.
The rules were a bit nebulous, but you were supposed to cover up your genitals(paint counts).
All types of people showed up. The cops were there to make sure there wasn’t too much cock lying around.
But of course, there was plenty for everyone to share.
There was also a virtual smorgasbord of asses and nothing says “ride more bikes; drive less cars!” than a smorgasbord of asses.
Personally I had a lot of fun and I think this event will continue to grow and perhaps become well known. Of course, I made a video from the camera I had mounted on my bike. Watch it!
Afterwards, we all gathered for a group photo.
That’s me front and center in the shiny purple Speedo.
Posted in art, bicycling, festival, fitness, health, parks, socializing, Uncategorized, urban, wildlife
DISCLAIMER: This account of how to to do taxidermy is largely made up and maybe even downright cruel. It is a fictitious account based on the ramblings of a vagrant Appalachian panhandler and should not be regarded as “instructions” by any means.
MATERIAL YOU WILL NEED:
If you’re planning on doing taxidermy, first you have to select an animal. For simplicity’s sake, I’d do a squirrel instead of a bear.
Grab a club or a bat and go out to a park and whack one (aim for the center of the face).
If this proves to be too difficult (squirrels can move at mercurial speeds), go to Kmart on the way to the park and fork over the $17.99 for a Red Ryder BB gun. Don’t forget the BBs. Try to get as close as possible because unless you are a trained sharpshooter AND are extremely lucky you’re not gonna be able to do the job in one shot. Do yourself and the varmint a favor and make it a 1-shot-deal. More than one hole in it’s pelt is going to lower it’s resale value (theoretically).
Now, get that Borax and knife ready. Once you have that sucker opened up, you’re going to want to sprinkle Borax liberally on the organs and innards of the beast. This’ll help with the smell.
If you want to feel better about yourself for killing a squirrel, you may want to eat its meat. In that case, lose the Borax and save the innards for dumplings.
Lie the squirrel down in the supine position and spead his hind legs.
This might be the grossest part. 1) Locate the asshole. 2) Stick the big sharp knife in it. Take a deep breath – yes, this is real. This is the “gutting” part of the process. Slide the knife up the underbelly up to his neck (he can’t feel it – he’s dead). A squirrel split from his ass to his neck is going to look pretty sick. If you did this right, you’ve just opened up his whole digestive tract. Go haywire with the Borax.
Next scrape out everything inside of that animal, separating the tissue from the skin with the knife. You’ll have to cut the leg internally as close as you can get to each claw (paw?). Leave the little finger bones and “hand” inside the skin, but use the pliers to cut the internal limb so you can remove it with the rest of the organs and tissue. You should be cropdusting that Borax right now.
Now you have the whole skinless body free from the pouch of skin, except for where it’s connected at the head. Grab the skin with one hand and the slippery organ body in the other hand and pull them apart – making the head skin turn inside out.
Discard that organy, gross, skinless body. If you think about keeping it around for more than a second you are really gross. Remember if you used Borax, you can’t eat it now, so get rid of it. If you do anything with it besides putting it in a garbage bag, you are really going to freak people out.
The empty skin pouch should be kinda like a squirrel puppet.
Open it up and Borax the shit out of it. Congratulations, you got rid of the gross part, here comes the creative part. Start with the eyes. Personally, to me there’s nothing scarier or more appropriate than a squirrel with eerie red eyes. It’s up to you.
Grab the wire coat hanger, the pliers, and the old socks. Slide the old socks into the belly slit to fill up the squirrel’s empty skin. Use the pliers to manipulate the wire from the coat hangers to give your squirrel much needed “‘tude.” The wire can make the limbs of your squirrel gesture any number of spunky ways. One suggestion is the “walk like an egyptian” pose (always a crowd-pleaser).
You’re almost finished. Sew him up and you’re done. An exciting work-from-home career awaits you.
Posted in art, food, how to, sportsman, Uncategorized, wild animals, wildlife
NO Adventure 