Posted by: noadventure | February 9, 2009
Where are the hot chicks?
Posted by: noadventure | February 2, 2009
What is New Orleans’ highest peak?
Deep in the Mississippi River Delta, New Orleans lies below sea level in a bowl between the greatest river in North America and the largest saltwater estuary in the world(Lake Pontch – doye). So just what is the highest point in the city? If we just want to get altitude – One Shell Square on Poydras is the tallest building, but I’m talking land.
What is the highest PEAK in the Big Sleazy?
Let’s inventory the hills and mountains in our metro area – shall we?
There’s the levee, of course.
Now in this picture from roughly two-hundred fucking years ago, you can see the people on top of the levee looking way down at the river bank in the distance. Original man-made levees in New Orleans were built on top of the natural levees that the river made while pushing all the silt and dirt from the whole country down south and out into the Gulf of Mexico.
Besides the levee, there are little hills here and there on golf courses and parks, but none of them are really high enough to write home about.
Monkey Hill in Audubon Zoo has long been fabled as the tallest point in New Orleans. This famous hill “got its start in 1933 with New Deal funds. The story goes that the Works Progress Administration brought in sand to create the 15-foot mountain to give the children of flat New Orleans the experience of a hill.”
Lucky children.
Monkey Hill in Audubon Zoo circa 40 or 50 years ago when it really sucked.
In the early 2000s, Monkey Hill had a makeover. Now sitting atop the old hill is a neat new five-level, 20-foot-tall treehouse that gives a scenic view of the zoo. There is also a series of ramps wrapping around a pecan tree, a rope bridge, bronze lion sculptures and wading pools. Talk about a luxurious mountain!
View from the top of Monkey Hill now. Holy smokes!
I even rode a majestic lion.
By the way, on the way to Monkey Hill, I snapped some photos of these guys:
And yes, this is a baby anteater chillaxing on his pops(or moms).
WAIT A SECOND! We are still discussing hills and mountains in New Orleans!
The next peak up for review is…
Laborde’s Lookout
aka
Lookout Mountain
aka
The Mountain
aka
Le Montagne de Garde
Deep in the Couterie forest in City Park lies a 53 foot-tall MOUNTAIN with several trails on it running up to the top. Here’s how to get there. Go to Scout Island. Take the Pig Trail(Piste de Cochon) to the left.
Go uphill.
Admire the craftsmanship of the crow’s nest deck at the very top.
Check out the dizzying view.
This “Pig Trail” may prove to be a new trail running spot for me. Anywho, We have a certifiable high point in the city.
THE MOUNTAIN in City Park is the highest peak in New Orleans. I highly recommend you attempt to summit this winter while the trail is clean and the air is brisk. May your expedition be a success.
Posted in climbing, highpoints, historical, parks, urban
Posted by: noadventure | January 27, 2009
Swamp Ramble
What’s the name of that book where the guy goes into the woods and chills out and thinks about stuff? Walden? Yeah, Henry David Thoreau stressed simple living and self-sufficiency. Only the necessities – food, shelter, clothing.
Bayou Pigeon is a little less than two hours from New Orleans. When you approach, there is a sign that let’s you know where you are.
Bayou Pigeon is much like HDT’s beloved Walden Pond – except that the necessities out here are nutria, guns, and alcohol. In the swamp, it’s easy for mankind to really switch gears from the hectic commotion of urban living. Relax, ramble, and live off the land.
Steady your aim, and a bounty of squirrel meat will be yours on which to feast!
Of course, the simple times on the bayou slip by much slower than that fast-paced city life. I’ve even fabricated a picture-show to illustrate life in the wilderness. As you can see from the moving-pictures, sometimes a ZIPLINE is necessary to move through the densely wooded forest. View here:
After all was said and done, and the squirrel filled our bellies, we watched the sun set on the serene bayou. Goodnight crawfish.
PS: We really did eat the squirrel.
Posted by: noadventure | January 20, 2009
Change Your F’d-up Life
I’m psychic. I can tell your life is not perfect. Am I right?
It’s okay that your life isn’t 100% great. I can teach you how to make it better. I know the secret.
First of all, go clean your room. Yeah, I know I sound like your mom, but go clean it. If it’s clean, clean your kitchen; clean your whole house while you’re at it. Clean you car. Throw away all those slips of paper you’re never going to look at again.
Finished? No? Come back to me when you’re done.
Now? Ok. Now you’re ready to start Phase 2.
Are you getting enough excercise? Are you excercising at all? I know you’re planning to “juuuuuust get finished with this one project” and then you’re gonna start. You need to start now.
What kind of excercise am I talking about? You don’t need to join a gym. You don’t need any equipment. Just follow these instructions.
Step 1: Put the food/remote/laptop/pornography down.
Step 2: Open up the front door.
Step 3: Start running.
That’s it. Here are your excuses…
But I’m already so out of shape/too old…
Rebuttal: You have to start somewhere. My suggestion would be to first make it around 2 blocks. You don’t have to sprint; just make it around 2 blocks with the slightest jog you can muster. NO WALKING. I don’t care if you are jogging 20 minute miles – DO NOT WALK. Keep the form of jogging/running and you will get speed with time. Start with 3 days a week, but do them in a row, not spaced(do Mon, Tue, Wed, not Mon, Wed, Fri).
—————————————————————
But I hate running…
Running hurts every time, even for people that do it a lot. I know it’s hard, but that’s what makes it effective. Nothing is free. Start slowly and work your way up(more speed, greater distances). Running is your key to lifelong fitness – ask any old person you see who looks like they’re in great shape(they’ve been doing cardio for years).
—————————————————————
But I already ride my bike alot…
Riding your bike is excellent, but if you don’t have a cardio routine that you do for fitness at least 3 to 4 times a week, I cannot guarantee you mental health and happiness.
—————————————————————
I’m too lazy/I don’t have the energy…
Never in the history of the planet has someone felt worse after a decent long run than they did before they started. You take your medicine(even if it’s gross), and then you feel better, right? The same is true for running. If you’re feeling lazy, RUN. Afterwards, you will be motivated and have MORE energy.
—————————————————————
But I’m in a wheelchair…
Get out of that fucking wheelchair right now and quit crying. Nobody sits on my time. Nobody.
—————————————————————
Running is your key to productivity and happiness, but there are a few rules.
Rule 1: No walking. I know it’s hard, but trust me on this. If you make up your mind that you will run/jog until you get to whatever destination, than that’s it – no walking in the mix. The second you start walking, you are giving your body the OK to walk more. Walking is not part of the deal. If you feel like you want to walk, slow your jogging down to almost nothing, but persevere. You can do it.
Rule 2: Fuck your iPod. Do me a favor and bring your iPod to the nearest body of water. Drop it in and run away. After you have been running for at least a month, it’s ok to start listening to music, but start naturally. Running is the original high intensity workout. Cavemen ran. Every animal runs. Your ability to run is directly linked to your ability to survive. People were not meant to sit in front of a screen/machine/desk all day and then go home, eat shitty food, and watch American Idol. Running is natural – so do it outside, in nature(or your neighborhood), without music to distract you.
Rule 3: No treadmills. Who wants to run inside anyway? If you run on a machine, you have the ever-present option to quit. The “STOP” button is constantly tempting you, while the computer data of your gradual progress blinks in front of your face. Concentrate on the run and forget about the numbers. Why do you want to run on a treadmill? So you can watch TV while you do it? Run outside on the street, in a park, or on a trail. Cavemen didn’t have treadmills. They didn’t have buildings either; they had caves. What happens if you’re in a plane crash and you’re on a deserted island? They’re won’t be any treadmills there, but there will a beach. That’s where you’ll run. Experience outside.
Look at the cool places you could be running right now here in the city.
Let’s weigh the PROS and CONS, shall we?
PROS
achieving physical fitness
getting healthier
becoming more attractive
losing weight
building self-esteem
having more energy and stamina
sleeping better at night
cheap workout
possible social tool
setting and reaching goals
CONS
you have to do something
Posted in fitness, health, how to, parks, running, socializing, success, Uncategorized, urban
Posted by: noadventure | January 11, 2009
Mission: Impossible
This was one of the dumbest things I’ve done in recent history. Out of desire to “do it,” I climbed to the base of this antenna tower over water. Really stupid. First off, while trying to set the anchor rope on the tower, the guide rope(a skinny cord kinda like a drawstring on a laundry bag) got jammed up in the steel on whoknowswhat.
Yeah, I know I may look like I’m having fun, but I’m actually terrified of what I have to do. The current was a little strong going out to sea, so I had to moor up my boat and hitch into my climbing equipment for the rope ascent. I also decided to rock a life jacket(for once) in case the jammed anchor rope became un-jammed and I splashed into the brackish water with a bunch of ropes and metal attached to me.
I’m off. I had to get my feet wet(I wasn’t planning on it). Notice the water dripping off the figure eight on the back of my harness.
Success! I made it to the top and saw the tiny rope that was holding me(not the one I climbed, but the little string you can barely make out in the photos).
I couldn’t really enjoy the view from the top, because I was too busy trying to think of how I would answer the Coast Guard’s questions. This is not something I wanted to do, I was merely retrieving my stuck rope. Now it was time to work on my descent. I crossed the concrete bar on foot to the other side of the tower base.
Time for danglin'(again)! I made a MacGuyver-style “loop ladder” to climb down. Sweet socks, dude! I bet those boys felt awesome soaking-wet in January.
Mission: accomplished! Afterwards, it was easy to smile about the events that transpired that day. I learned alot of lessons – most importantly, “it’s not illegal if you don’t get caught.” Notice my wet pants(only most of that is urine).
Posted by: noadventure | January 6, 2009
Kayak to Lincoln Beach
Way back in the day, New Orleans had two amusement parks. Pontchartrain Beach was the predominant one that existed on the spot of today’s UNO campus. Before integration, there was a blacks-only amusement park further east on the lake. According to WIKI, “the Orleans Levee Board first designated this section as a swimming area in the lake for “Colored” New Orleanians, then built out additional land in the lake for the amusement park to be built on. The park was similar to the then “whites only” Pontchartrain Beach amusement park on a smaller scale. It featured various rides, games, restaurants, a swimming pool in addition to lake swimming, and frequent live music performances.”
Lincoln Beach was active from 1939 to 1965.
John and I decided to kayak there.
There were tons of wooden posts sticking out of the water from all the piers that were knocked away during Katrina.
Judging by the sun, we had less than 2 hours of daylight.
After a short paddle, we arrived at a pretty nice beach on the eastern edge of the park.
The water visibility was remarkably clear for Lake Pontch(in another post I’ll go snorkeling in the lake – but probably on the north shore).
Once on land, there were these buttresses. I don’t know what they were used for exactly but they appeared to be part of a concrete deck along the water with some sort of roof for shade. Directly behind this decking was the fabled Lincoln Beach swimming pool(now filled with weeds and rubble). It was easily bigger than 2 olympic-sized pools and it was right on the lake.
On the west side of the park is another beach; this one’s a little bigger and had a few people fishing off the rocks.
The structure that is most intact at Lincoln Beach is this pavillion, where people probably ate and chilled. Almost all of the other buildings
have been torn down since Katrina. I’ve heard talk of developing or restoring the park, but I don’t see it happening just yet.
Posted in beach, historical, paddling, urban, urban ruin, water
Posted by: noadventure | December 23, 2008
Dog Parks of NOLA
I don’t own a dog, but most of my friends do. Some of my friends who are couples use the dog as a stunt double for a kid or a substitute for one. Cheaper? Yes, but the dog never grows up and refuses to speak English.
Cabrini Park in the French Quarter
Dog parks are increasingly popular hangouts and the Crescent City is gaining more of them. “The Levee” where Magazine St. meets Leake Ave.(River Road) has always been an unofficial dog park close to Audubon Park and the Zoo. It’s huge, dogs can run free off the leash, and unlike more official dog parks – there is no rule or pressure to pick up after your dog. The acres of levee between Magazine and that fenced in industrial building on the river are fair game for your dog to do as he pleases. I hadn’t been down to the river in a year or so and the “beach” has become quite a cool squat.
Just stroll down this trail:
First you’ll see “dog beach.”
Keep going(east?) and you’ll see a shanty in the hollow.
Not bad craftsmanship. What are those? Lag bolts?
Jumping on the dog park craze, Jefferson parish recenty built the much-loved and much-needed Bark Park on the lakefront here:
Don’t let the Metairie location fool ya. This park is very scenic since it rests on a small peninsula in Lake Pontchartrain.
You can see more of the park in my video at the end of this post.
Next, I hit up Cabrini Park near Port of Call in the Quarter to see what the fuss was about. My brother and his girlfriend Robyn showed me that this is where the BIG dogs play. Their pit bull mix was the smallest canine there.
Find Cabrini Park here:
In the future(2009 to be exact) City Park is planning City Bark, a “4.6-acre gated oasis in City Park, with separate sides for small and large dogs, dog showers and a wading pool.” Read more here.
Anysuch, as promised, here’s the whimsical video I slapped together. Look for its stars Ruffins, Polly, Susam, and Kobe where dogs be at.
Posted by: noadventure | December 13, 2008
Abandoned!
So like I said, we explored a new abandoned place – McDonogh 16 school in the 9th Ward. Similar to most buildings in the Bywater neighborhood, the school only got inches of water, yet was mysteriously completely f’ing trashed.
Not nearly as gross or terrifying as the underground bomb shelter, this place was more of a puzzling adventure that forced us to guess WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
I found some great rap lyrics that must have been written by a student.
Anywho, we also made a movie which you should check out here:
Posted in Uncategorized, urban, urban ruin
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