Posted by: noadventure | January 18, 2010

Paddle the Whole Mississippi

This is what the Mississippi River looks like in Itasca Lake in Minnesota. Little kids can walk across it.

From there, it continues on through the marshy woods, shallow and skinny, winding through forests and wetlands.

It’s quite a haul to do the whole thing(2320 miles from almost Canada to the Gulf of Mexico). It drains 31 states and its tributaries bring water water from the Rockies in the west and the Appalachians in the east.

I got this Twainian idea to do the whole thing when I heard about New Orleans native and scientist, Marcus Eriksen. Here he is chillaxing in a pile of plastic bottles.

I read his book My River Home(which I picked up at the library).He went to UNO, worked at the Audubon zoo, and was a marine in the first Persian Gulf war. When he came back home, he decided to make a vessel out of trash(mostly bottles) that he piloted down the entire length of the river. Here’s his river boat:

After doing the river, he later sailed a junk sailboat from L.A. to Hawaii, but that’s another ball of wax.

The book was pretty cool and if you don’t have a library card, I highly recommend getting one. It’s free, they have EVERYTHING, and your not stuck with a book to get rid of after you read one.

Now on the subject of paddling the entire river, alot of people think it’s really dumb and dangerous, but the truth is that a handful of people do it every year in canoes or kayaks. The upper river isn’t bad at all with the exception of huge locks, dams, and a few rapids here and there. In fact, alot of people swim across the river or down it. I personally know a guy named Tommy Staub who swam across at the Fly. He was fine, but by the time he got to the other side, he was too tired to make it back, so he made a phone call and had someone pick him up on the westbank. This guy John Ruskey swims across in Memphis with snorkel fins and a mask:

And then there is Martin Strel. He’s a Slovenian swimmer who has swam the entire length of the Mississippi, the Danube, the Yangtze, and the Amazon. Talk about a beast. Just the pollution in the Yangtze is supposed to be off the charts.

Check him out in action. He sleeps 5 hours a day while swimming rivers and it takes him 7 months to recover after completion.

Imagine being on the water for months and finally pulling into rivertown in Kenner. Make sure you stop and check out the statues that commemorate the first heavyweight championship prize fight in the United States. Bare-knuckle of course.

Don’t believe me? Read the plaque.

So I don’t know when I’ll have time to do the whole river, but I am actively looking for a partner who will paddle from the Fly to the French Quarter with me(Taylor? Tara?). It’s a start.

Posted by: noadventure | January 11, 2010

NOadventure – the next decade…

I haven’t given much thought to the new decade that is upon us(save for my year end posts of Colonial Handjobs and Alabama Snow Skiing), but I do know that even if it is blisteringly cold for New Orleans, there is still adventure to be had out there.

The year in review:

If 2009 has taught us anything, it is that the term “swagger” is now exclusively used to describe NFL teams.

Also, Keeping up with the Jetsons, played in a few film fesitvals. The Buttons music video Roller Rock, and other posts on this site received national attention on StreetCarnage.com

Our crunchy artist friends at the Monster Treehouse, got on the cover of Gambit this week. Speaking of Gambit, Blake Pontchartrain mentioned NOadventure in an article this year about the Underground Bomb Shelter we spelunked. BTW, Buried Alive, the documentary we made, played at the Docufest Film Festival in Atlanta.

Dan Fox mentioned NOadventure in a great article in Antigravity Magazine.

More importantly, this site had almost 95,000 hits in 2009. We absolutely murdered 2008(not that it was hard).

Thanks to all the guest posters and friends: Jessy, Pearce, Nina, Jimmy, Natalie, Francine, Taylor, James, Shayne, Chris, John, Kevin, Barry, Jenni, Iran, Dave, Nate, Butttons, Ballzack & Odoms.

Tara, George, and Jay – I’m still waiting for your contributions.

If you’ve seen one of these stickers around town and you want one, HOLLER – I’ll hook you up.

Lastly, I will begin letting everyone know about new posts on Twitter. Follow me @noadventure of course.

Live your life.

Posted by: noadventure | January 2, 2010

Colonial Handjobs

As seen on STREETCARNAGE.COM

Editor’s note: Guest documentarians Floyd Tickleson and Ernie Redbottom tell us about the history of the Northshore’s Cane Bayou.

Posted by: noadventure | December 29, 2009

Snow Skiing in Alabama!

I remember the first time I had heard of Cloudmont. I grew up fortunate enough to take snowboarding trips all around North America – Whistler, Park City, Vail. Weeks before one of these trips of my youth, when the internet was in its early days, I looked at a list of clickable states on a ski conditions site.

Alabama?

Of course I had to click.  I saw that there was one lonely “resort” by the name of Cloudmont. There were, of course, reviews of the resort online where anonymous smartass posters left knee-slappers like, “Forget the Alps, Cloudmont has the best powder!” As the southernmost skiing area in the U.S., Cloudmont boasts that you can golf and ski in the same day – which is unique, at least, if not desirable.

Watch these rednecks ski – I love how she stops.

The ski season is tentatively from xmas time to around March, depending on how cold it is. Ninety percent or more of the snow here is machine blown and as you can imagine, warm weather is a constant problem. The vertical drop from the peak to the bottom of the lift is nothing to write home about, but then again, this is the closest skiing/riding to New Orleans at just under 7 hours.

Worst night skiiers ever at Cloudmont:

This kid isn’t so terrible:

Years later, I actually visited the resort in the summer time while rock climbing in the area. It looked pretty much like I thought it would. BTW, there are chalets to rent at Cloudmont, but no restaurant. There is, however, a snack bar; yes – they have nachos.

If you are willing to drive a little further, I hear Ober Gatlinburg in the Smoky Mountains is more like a “real” ski resort, but gets stupid crowded during the holidays. Now, I’m not suggesting you go to either of these places as a ski/snowboard vacation, but they might be worth looking into if you were going camping in Great Smoky Mountains National Park or climbing up at Sand Rock in northern Alabama.

Some photos from Ober:

Whatever you choose to do, please help me in trying to convince the Cloudmont staff that they should sell t-shirts and stickers that read “SKI BAMA.”

Posted by: noadventure | December 23, 2009

Holiday Dance Tips

During this holiday season, you may find yourself at a party or social event. In order to rock the mother-effing house, you must remember to be yourself, feel the music, and let your body be an expression of that music.

YOU

CAN’T

TEACH

THIS.

Looks like somebody’s getting laid tonight.

Don’t be a Shy Ronnie. Overcome your fears by jumping in head first. In fact, don’t be afraid to be weird. If you hear a Mr. Oizo/Kid Sister/Daft Punk mash, capitalize on it.

Perhaps two little people will get into a dance battle. Encourage them both(even though one kinda blows and has not really worked on his breakdancing fundamentals)!

Point: You are no spring chicken – seize the day.

(Thanks to StreetCarnage some content).

Posted by: noadventure | December 14, 2009

Monster Treehouse

Do you remember when you were a little kid and you dreamed about how your house would be when you were an adult?

Priorities change. I used to think I’d have a water bed when I grew up. When I was a kid, I dreamed of a house with secret passageways, a brass pole to slide down, a zipline, and a climbing wall.

I stayed true to the zipline in the backyard and the climbing wall in my den…

But I failed on the waterbed…

Not everyone has to grow up, though. At least not evidenced by the inhabitants at 1614 Esplanade Ave.  – AKA the NOLA ART HOUSE. Their website explains the whole thing better than I can in this post, but basically the building houses about 20 “artists” and a few dogs. Most of those in the house are in their twenties, but ages span a 20 year gap from 18 to 38.

I was invited to the house by Kayla, who was nice enough to give me a tour and show me where she lived. Her art is music photography and singing/songwriting. According to her, each person in the house is an artist in some capacity and they together work on installations around the house and the city. The house is itself, a gallery, and the housemates wish to improve on it in that means – making it a place for city artists to display their work.

Visual art is the primary discipline in the house; this ranges from painting to t-shirt making, but the main attraction of the house is the truly amazing treehouse installation.

The treehouse was built collectively by the house in a golden rain tree(deemed an invasive species that would probably be cut down in other parts of the city). This enormous project is lead by house member and installation artist, Scott Pterodactyl.

I’ll let the photos speak for themselves(BTW, there are even better shots at the house website which shows the treehouse at night):

Here’s the tiptop, at over 50 feet in the air, and the city view it offers.

Later I met Ben, who when asked about what kind of art he creates, told me, “Uh, no… I just live here.” Here’s Ben in the red ball room in the in the west wing of the treehouse.

Most of the materials used in the making of the treehouse are recycled and some are just straight-up Katrina leftovers. These huge nets that make up the hammock bridge are salvaged from batting cages and golf driving ranges.

Here’s Ben taking the fast way down:

If you are wondering how this whole thing is possible you are not alone – I wondered the same thing. Kayla tells me that rent is cheap, utilities are included, and the owner of the building(an artist himself, who lives in California) lets the artists self-govern and pick there own prospective housemates. So basically, a rotating roster of tenants(most from Craigslist ads) become roommates in the art house. Some stay for a month, some for years. While in the house, they all seem to focus alot of energy and time onto one thing – huge parties.

The NOLA Art House hosts massive parties that utilize their tremendous backyard, complete with their koi pond, DJ booth, parachute tent, homemade pool, super-fast water slides, and of course, the treehouse. Maybe I’ll see you there.

Posted by: noadventure | December 7, 2009

NOadventure climbs Everest!

Well, that was the plan anyway(or at least get to base camp at 18,000 feet).

Shayne, a NOadventure representative, left for Nepal about 2 months ago(way fucking late in the season). The result was Shayne getting so violently sick that it makes cancer look like a blowjob.

Shane with his posse.

His water bottle froze next to his head as he struggled to stay warm in the Himalaya. After several days of puking in a bucket and shitting on the ground, he called it quits and returned to Kathmandu. Despite being ill(near legally dead in Nepal), he did manage to bomb India and Nepal with some NOadventure stickers like the one seen here:

See if you can spot them…

Shayne is back in the U.S. now, planning another attempt next spring. Hopefully by then, the posse will have some high-altitude experience under their belts. Sherpas don’t come cheap.

Posted by: noadventure | November 30, 2009

Mountain Biking the Spillway

Editor’s note: New guest writer James gives us a sorely needed mountain biking post on the Spillway(so close!).

Just 30 minutes from downtown New Orleans is the Bonnet Carre’ Spillway.  The Spillway, as it is known locally, is a stretch of water connecting the Mississippi river to Lake Pontchartrain.  Most days, this channel is closed to river water, creating a brackish water recreation area for fishing, boating, ATV riding, and mountain biking. When the river gets near flood stage, the Spillway gates are opened and the excess water is diverted to the lake easing the stress on the river levees.  The Spillway runs from the river to the lake, but the area’s recreation is primarily based in the section accessed by Airline Hwy.  The Airline Hwy. entrance has a pavilion, concrete boat launches, ample parking, portable toilets that are cleaned regularly, picnic tables, trash receptacles, an ATV trail network, and the subject of this post, a mountain biking trail. Here is how to get there:

While the term Mountain Biking is a bit comical for Louisiana, The Spillway Trail is an offroad bicycle trail through a wooded section that parallels the spillway’s main channel. When entering the area from Airline, enter the parking lot and look to the right as you descend the levee. There you will see the trailhead.


This is where the trail begins. The trail is 5.5 miles long and is basically a loop so there is no worries about getting lost and there are a few spots where you can exit to the shell road on the levee if you want out. Surrounded by oaks, palmettos, gum trees, and vines and shrubs of all sorts this trail cuts through some serious brush but it is well ridden and superbly maintained by the local mountain bikers club NOMAMBO. The members of NOMAMBO are responsible for the building, design, maintenance, and administration of this FREE trail and even organize several events and races annually. Check them out at: http://www.nomambo.net/. Now to the trail itself:

The trail is pretty easy for the most part. The sections that do have more difficult features always have a bypass option so no one has to feel uncomfortable. One of the great things about this trail is that the difficulty level is directly relative to your speed. If you are riding at a slow relaxed pace the turns are nice and easy and everything flows, but as you speed up, those nice turns become twisty, technical single-track and can pose a nice challenge. There are no screaming downhills or monster climbs of course, but for an avid cross country rider this trail can be challenging and fun at speed. Likewise, at a slower pace, someone could have a pleasant, relaxed nature ride with no real trail experience. You will, however, need a capable bike. This doesn’t mean something expensive, but no street bikes, cruisers, or commuters. Have knobby tires, and working brakes, and a HELMET, which is required(I have seen a few teens out here on BMX bikes, but for that you will need teenage legs and lungs).

Gloves are a good idea but not a necessity like WATER and bug spray(in summer). The main channel of the spillway borders a good portion of the trail and makes for some nice scenic spots.  Several wooden bridges add a nice touch as well.

And of course, there is the “Teeter-Totter”(seen above). Not for the squeamish, I have personally seen this beast at its cruelest, but it is fairly easy when all goes well. When it doesn’t… well, at least it isn’t too far to walk, or crawl to the exit from here. Below you can see a profile of the teeter-totter. See the bypass? No shame in ridin’ past this. (Editor’s note: I have personally busted my ass on this thing and landed straight on the top of my head, telescopically compressing my spine. Of course, as soon as I could walk again, about 5 minutes later, I had to complete the bridge successfully one last time before retiring from the Teeter-Totter for good. My neck hurt for days, I had a waffle of mud in my hair and I was soaking wet in December, but it could’ve been much worse. Be careful on this one.)

Most of the trail is dedicated to making the most of the available space and there are plenty of turns and banks to keep it fun and flowing. The guys from NOMAMBO do a great job of keeping the vegetation under control and the trail clear. This is no small feat and they are a volunteer-only workforce so many thanks and props to you guys.  In the warmer months, the poison ivy can get pretty thick despite efforts to tame it –  so if you are highly allergic, take precautions. I have a mild allergy and have never been exposed while riding, but if you were to fall in the wrong spot, it could happen. This is really only a concern in August and only the real diehards tend to ride in 90+ weather.  In winter, the undergrowth dies back drastically and the woods open up.

Here is another easy to bypass trail feature of a “log pile” that can be used as a ramp or rollover.  There is no better time than now(fall/winter) to try this trail out. The vines are dying and the weather is exceptional. The maintenance plans are not focused on weed control, so the trail should be in tip-top shape and there will most likely be some enhancements like this being done throughout the season. Also, in winter there are no snakes or bugs.

The best thing about this trail is the location. Minutes from New Orleans and seconds from Kenner, two laps on this puppy can be a great workout in great surroundings. The Spillway is teeming with life and if you ride early and quietly you can see some of it. I have seen owls, rabbits, rat snakes, pine snakes(scarce species in area for a long time), turtles, ibis, herons, and tons of little birds and alligators. In this area, there is a native species to watch out for – Fat City types like this guy. He was well behaved this day, but…

Fat City in action!

No bypass for this thing, but you can always walk it.

Once again, there is no shame in walking(this particular rider is not from Fat City and usually would not walk over an obstacle, this was done strictly for journalistic value.)

If you have never been in the spillway or haven’t been recently you may be surprised by how scenic it can be. There are large mossy oak trees, water, wildlife, and a remote feel. Some sections of the trail are downright beautiful and can transport you to other places, like these “northwestern” looking fern gardens.

So it’s not Washington state, but it is a nearly tropical , almost rain forest, semi-hardwood swamp that you can easily drive to… and mountain bike.

This area is a swamp and the trail will need roughly a day to dry for every inch of rainfall.

Even on dry days:

There is no water at the spillway, other than the spillway itself, so bring plenty with you. There is a gas station store right across from the spillway entrance if you need anything and there are plenty of places to sit and eat if you want to bring a lunch. There are basic rules posted at the trailhead and trash receptacles nearby so don’t litter and respect the common sense rules of the trail. Most importantly, no matter how cool you are, wear a friggin’ helmet. Eventually, you will be glad you did. Plus they are great for your hair:

This trail can be ridden all year round and trail info and conditions can always be found at http://www.nomambo.net/. I would like to once again thank the guys from NOMAMBO for the great trail and encourage everyone to do something at the spillway. Besides the bike trail, they have multiple boat launches, fishing, water skiing, an extensive ATV trail system, and a large pavilion area. There are also some awesome access areas for canoeing and kayaking into areas impenetrable by boats, but that’s another post altogether.  Get out, get active, and catch me if you can…


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