Posted by: noadventure | April 10, 2011

Renaissance Fair

So this was a forgotten adventure that took place in the fall. The festival grounds were up near Hammond(I  think). If the word “nerd” could be used to describe you in any way, this might be for you. I’ve got a ton of photos and this story is best told through my snapshots.

Admission: they take VISA, not schillings.

Let’s party.

Right out of the gate we have sorcery. That’s right, sorcery.

A stroll through the shire(or whatever the fuck you call woods).

Yes, they’ve got bards and yes they make those faces constantly. It’s exhausting.

Ran across this fairy chick with the goat. I asked, “Can I take a picture of you and your goat?” She said, “It’s a sheep.” My bad.

Next up was this stud with the Sega Dreamcast shirt. We got into a pissing match over throwing hatchets into this pile of logs. Turns out we both suck at it as neither of us was able to make one stick in the wood.

If you enjoy people watching, this place rivals the Strawberry Festival. The only problem is that my new DSLR makes a loud shutter noise when I snap a shot so now I have to ask permission to shoot most people or take photos from far away. My old camera was so stealthy(super long zoom and sniper-silent).

Went in for a closer look on Superman and his elastic pants. Look at his disapproving sneer.

They had plenty of great activities – such as the FALCONRY show… and let’s not forget Sir Munch-A-Lots.

The coolest thing I witnessed was this battle arena where the tough nerds would fight each other at 100% force with armor and weapons(the weapons were padded over the sharp points). These dudes were brutal and their fighting included going-for-broke moves like chucking a sword at another dude’s head and then tackling him. The crowd cheers the fighters on and feeds the excitement. The guys had been doing this several shows a day for the past few weekends, so they were pretty beat up when we saw them, but they did not fail to entertain.

EXCELSIOR!

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Posted in art, beer, fall, festival, fight sports, food, historical, music, northshore, socializing | Tags: , , , , , ,

Posted by: noadventure | April 1, 2011

Mid-City Bike Ride

Another experience I decided to shoot instead of describe. Lakeview easily links to Mid-City and City Park for a rad bike riding adventure. Perfect for a cheap date.

ALSO: if you’re into guided kayak tours right in the mid-city neighborhood, my buddy Sonny is guiding at KAYAKITIYAT. Check ’em out!

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Posted in bicycling, parks, urban

Posted by: noadventure | March 28, 2011

Islenos Festival

Rebecca and I went to the Islenos festival in St. Bernard Parish a couple of weeks ago. Aside from some tradish paella and croquetttas, the festival was an eye-opener to how micro-cultures can become diluted to nothing over generations.

If you’re not familiar with Islenos, the easiest way to describe them is Spanish Cajuns. During Spanish control of Louisiana, Canary Islanders(Spain) were brought in around 1778 to “four locations strategically placed around New Orleans to guard approaches to the city.”

Of the four Isleño settlements, San Bernardo was most successful(this became present day St. Bernard Parish).

Taken from LosISLENOS.ORG:

“Following World War II, many Isleños returning home began to seek work opportunities in the large industrial facilities, which developed along the Mississippi River in the 1940s and 1950s. Their children were reared outside the traditional Isleño cultural environment and did not learn to speak Spanish. Today, thousands of Isleño descendants live throughout the metropolitan New Orleans area.

Nevertheless, the elderly Isleños still speak an archaic Spanish dialect, brought to Louisiana more than two centuries ago. They have preserved to a large extent, their distinct cultural identity.

Today, the Isleño communities of St. Bernard Parish survive as the last living vestige of Spanish Colonial Louisiana.”

It’s easy to see how families abandon the native tongue of their ancestors out of wanting a better life for their offspring. How many of us know young Cajuns who don’t speak a lick of Cajun French? These tiny cultures too often get swallowed by the prevalent cultures and languages associated with commerce and prosperity.

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Posted by: noadventure | March 21, 2011

Mardi Gras leftovers

Whipped this together hastily. Something I shot during Mardi Gras.

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Posted in dancing, festival, urban

Posted by: noadventure | March 13, 2011

Warrior Dash – the experience

Finally, last weekend, WARRIOR DASH became a reality. Although the weather looked glum with a 100% chance of rain and a Tornado Warning, we still got there early, determined to race and have a fun. I couldn’t believe the turnout – thousands of people(mostly from New Orleans and Baton Rouge metro areas) had paid money to participate in a hellish muddy run through deep water, tunnels, 20′ high cargo nets, barbed wire, and of course… the fire leap.

The sky looked grey, the wind was kicking, but everyone there was gung ho to dash. From stars & stripes Speedo dude to this colorful stretching team, everyone was gearing up for a nasty race.

After checking in, we were informed that the weather situation was “no fucking joke” and the whole Warrior Dash was threatened to be canceled for participant and worker safety. With tornados and a huge storm approaching, the race officials had begun sending groups of racers through every 10 minutes instead of the originally planned 30 minute waves. Not wanting to get left out, we scrambled to the start gate and awaited the pyrotechnic explosion that would signify the start of our race. Inside the starting gate, I saw there were plenty of “team” entrants who all dressed in a theme with identical or similar outfits. These guys’ theme was the word “awesome.”

Before starting the race, I stuffed my ID in my shoe and a waterproof digital camera in my Speedo. During the race, I was tempted to pull out the camera and snap some shots, but I resisted because I wanted to remain competitive(and it was a huge pain in the sack to pull the camera out). I did pull it out during the race for one special occasion though – I spotted cheap beer legend KEITH STONE. He was slowly and cooly ambling through the mud and obstacles at a walking pace with a case of Keystone Light in tow.

Thousands of footprints had whipped the mud into cake frosting. It was so slippery in parts that people just started skating around on the slop and hitting the deck face first. Here’s a photo of me I stole from Warrior Dash’s official photography website. Notice how my right foot is completely submerged in mud.

Some of the water obstacles were tricky too. You’d start running into a puddle and would suddenly drop off into head-high water with a SPLOOSH!

The cargo net and tunnels were fun, but the fire leap at the end of the race was unique to Warrior Dash. After I finished the race, I went back and took a few photos of people crossing the flames like this retarded dude(who had duct tape underwear).

After the race, before hitting up the beer tent, everyone had their own strategy for cleaning up. Some of us waded out into a pond that no person would normally swim in, but under the mud-covered circumstances, it seemed a logical choice.

After a hasty cleanup, we moved on to the music stage and beer serving area. We ran into this nice couple on the way who expressed their spirit animals through the medium of t-shirts.

Roofies anyone?

About 2 seconds after we had our beers in hand, an unceremonious announcement came over the PA:

“The Tornado Watch has been upgraded to a Tornado Warning. We have canceled all future race waves. Warrior Dash is officially over for the day. We suggest that you return to your vehicles.”

Then, the plug was pulled on the music and people started shuffling to the buses in the rain. The weather was indeed picking up. After looking at the immense crowd waiting for buses, we opted(as did many) to walk the 2 miles to parking in the rain with our giant beers. Those of us who walked enjoyed a post-race glow and we entertained each other through stories and song. It was still Mardi Gras weekend; weather does not inhibit people with giant beers who run in mud.

Once at the vehicle, I dropped my race clothes into a garbage bag and nursed a 40 ounce beer mug while riding back home through the hellish storm. I consider myself lucky to have beat out the weather, raced, AND got the giant beer I so richly deserved.

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Posted in beer, climbing, festival, fitness, parks, race, running, socializing, spillway, swamp, triathlon | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: noadventure | March 6, 2011

Barkus

Mardi Gras 2011 is in full swing, but so far the only parade I’ve attended has been Barkus. The weather and my work schedule has kinda been in the way with parades, but I did complete Warrior Dash yesterday morning(DON’T WORRY – Huge follow up post on Warrior Dash next week).

So here was last weekend’s NOadventure – the quaint Barkus parade. Barkus is a lovely little event where queers, families, gutter punks, old ladies, and dogs join forces in daytime revelry.

We started the day with a muffaletta and a beer while sitting on the sidewalk in Jackson Square.

Parades are gay(inherently). This year’s theme was Broadway. Check out Miss Saigon below.

Behold King Barkus!

There were some pretty good brass bands and musicians marching in the parade. This kid was adorable as a drum major.

I’ve totally seen this old dude on the right dancing “Down in the Treme.”

Now for the dogs. Pretty good costumes for well-behaved animals that don’t understand the purpose of this event.

South Bark was all pugs. Can’t see it in the photo, but they had a black pug dressed like Token(how cute).

Spuds McKenzie dog as Spider Man!

DinoDog.

Catch the REAL Bacchus parade tonight uptown, followed by a really short Endymion(boohoo).

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Posted by: noadventure | February 27, 2011

City Park Disc Golf

Finally went to the NEW disc golf course in City Park. It’s about fucking time. I mean, how much land in City Park has been just sitting there since Katrina(especially on the lesser used side of the park)?

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with New Orleans’ other <cough> “suburban” disc golf course. Lafreniere Park’s course actually beats out City Park in technical holes, terrain diversity, course length, maintenance, and overall challenge. Nevertheless, City Park’s course is closer to where everyone I know lives and is therefore cooler. I might add that you are less likely to experience a 30-person Mexican Bar-B-Que in progress in the middle of the fairway in City Park(at press time).

This is how you get there:

The course is very fun. If you’re a decent player, you should be able to par almost all of the holes on a good day.

Each tee box is well marked by a little sign that gives you direction toward the hole. This particular hole(7) was sponsored by Uncle Karl Helwick. Who knew?

Vandals have already run amuck and claimed hole 12 for Chef Will. Noted.

Not a lot of water hazards – which is great if you suck at disc golf. Even if you don’t suck, you probably know someone who does, so this helps sweeten the deal for friends who may be unwilling to give it a try for fear of losing yet another disc.

There was actually a dude in waders with a probing pole fishing wayward discs out of the bottom of this bayou. The waterway seen below is the only water hazard that you have to actually CROSS. You must do so on two separate holes(but you can always play up OR play it safe by using the huge concrete bridge).

Evidence of the Works Progress Administration?

Final verdict: this course is a welcome and sorely needed addition to our beloved City Park. The park is in constant flux, experiencing a huge renovation that will hopefully utilize more of the space with popular revenue-generating features. Free ones are cool too.

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Posted by: noadventure | February 21, 2011

Fairgrounds Race Track

During the winter in New Orleans, it is customary to go to “the track” to bet on horses. In fact, many people traditionally visit on Thanksgiving day at the start of the season to fulfill their desire to be old-timey – it’s quite satisfying really.

Since the closest dog track is in Mobile, the Fairgrounds is a natural choice for your animal racing needs. Horse racing is somehow WAY classier than dog racing. Personally, I could give a fuck if it was mouse racing, but I guess horses have a lot more criteria to judge when placing a bet.

We went yesterday for the first time this season. I like to get a good look at the horses in the race BEFORE I bet the farm. The odds are important(which you can read from this little pamphlet they sell for a buck), but I also like to see where the horse is from and if it has a cool name. In my mind, a horse named Quick Breeze is always gonna be faster than a horse named Her Majesty’s Lace. Also, I like to bet on horses from Louisiana.

The ones with the masks or socks also swing my favor. Most experienced  gamblers agree to bet on a gray horse on a rainy day OR to bet on the horse that just took a dump(totally serious). Some people prefer to bet on name alone. The real issue is that a horse with great odds is more likely to win, but less likely to give a big payout. Conversely, a horse with terrible odds, like 15/1, is probably not going to win, but if it does – it’s chicken dinners all around.

Keep a close eye on the jockey. Another lesser known strategy is to bet on the horse with the smallest jockey.

Once, they’re on the track, it’s time to rush to the little computers and put in your bets.

I’ve included a short lexicon for the newbie. This isn’t everything there is to know about horse betting, but it’s a nice introduction to the standards:

Straight bet or Single or Win bet: This is the simplest and most common bet. You bet on a winner at given odds. You collect only if your chosen horse is the first across the finish line.

Place: A wager for place means you collect if your selected horse finishes either first or second.

Show: The third horse across the finish line. A wager to show means you collect if your selected horse finishes either first, second or third.

Perfecta or Exacta: (Straight Forecast, UK) The Perfecta is similar to the Quiniela, except the two horses must finish in the exact order. To bet you say “$3 Perfecta, 5-6”. Only if the horses finish 5-6 you win.

Perfecta Box: As with the quiniela box, except the two horses must finish in the exact order. To bet you say “$2 perfecta box on 4,5 and 6”. You are making six separate bets so your minimum bet is $12. If they finish 4-5, 4-6, 6-4, 6-5, 5-4 or 5-6 you win. With Perfecta Box, for each extra horse you add to the box the possible combinations get compunded and your number of bets increases accordingly. A “$2 perfecta box on 4 horses” will cost you $24 (12 bets), a “$2 perfecta box on 5 horses” $40 (20 bets), and a “$2 perfecta box on 6 horses ” $60 (30 bets).

Straight Trifecta: (Tricast or Treble Forecast, UK) Pick the first three horses to cross the finish line in exact order. To bet you say “$2 trifecta numbers 7,4 and 5”. Only if they finish 7-4-5 you win.

$1 Trifecta Box: Pick three horses to finish first, second and third, in any order. To bet you say “$1 trifecta box 2,3 and 5”. You are actually making six $1 bets, so your total bet is $6. If they finish 2-3-5, 2-5-3, 3-2-5, 3-5-2, 5-2-3 or 5-3-2; you win.

$1 Trifecta Key: Pick your favorite horse to win, then two or more others to place and show in any order. To bet you say “$1 trifecta key on 1 with 2 and 3”. You are actually making two $1 bets so your total bet is $2. To win your Key horse must win and the other two must finish either 1-2-3 or 1-3-2.

You can Box, Key or Wheel most of the above bets.

The Fairgrounds also offers Starlight Racing once  a month. It’s kind of an after-work event that has bands at the track and it’s in the evening instead of during the day… you get the picture.

The race season is generally Thanksgiving to Easter so you’ve got limited time to bet your paycheck! Get out there and get your hustle up. I know a guy.

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Posted in beer, horses, money, race, socializing, sports, urban, winter | Tags: , , , , ,

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