Posted by: noadventure | April 6, 2009

Strawberry Festival(Dumb Fat People)

Over this pretty weekend we decided to make a little visit to the quaint town of Ponchatoula. The Louisiana Strawberry Festival(more commonly called the Tangipahoa Mouthbreather Convention) was an eye-opening lesson on what is wrong with America.

Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of GREAT ATTRACTIONS such as:

The $1 freak show of 2 headed animals.

freakanimals

The FREE BIBLE booth.

freebibles

The TRASH WATERFALL(this isn’t even a garbage can – it’s a sink).

trashwaterfall

And don’t forget the dude with NUTSACKS on his EARS.

nutsackearprime

This dude had nutsacks on BOTH of his ears. I didn’t get to snap a photo of the other ear, but that one was even bigger. Of course, you can’t spend the whole day just gazing at nutsacks like these prisoners(off the leash) did right in the middle of the festival.

prisonerstightprisoners-wide

Sometimes you should try the local cuisine like these folks did. Treat yourself – you deserve it.

fatmotorcyclefatblackblueassfatpinkassfatturqoisefatwhiteshortsfatyellapurpleass

There were also plenty of BIKERS and REDNECK folk that are less common in New Orleans, but flourish in this climate.

bikersamericabikerstrawbagredneckhatoveralls

Which brings us to 4WHEELERS! Everyone was driving around on 4Wheelers.

4wheelerredneckwoman2dudes4wheelers4wheelertraffic

And don’t forget the THUGS. A festival celebrating strawberries would not be complete without them. This SCARFACE ensemble is this guy’s best outfit(the latest in festival-wear).

scarface1

Metairie GUIDO thugs. You should’ve heard their accents.

wiggers

THUG RIDES: $2

thugrides

In closing, don’t skimp on the loaded fries. You’re worth it.

loadedfriespinkbelly

PS: If you look like this – don’t breed.

wigger-kids

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Responses

  1. Love it.

  2. Who wrote the captions? Hysterical!

  3. Wow. So how were the strawberries? (WHERE were the strawberries?!)
    lol

  4. You are funny.

  5. […] a rhubarb pie to consume during the firework/laser spectacular. BTW, there were about 6 thousand rednecks […]

  6. I know the guy to the left in the last picture 😀

    His name is Mattias Norén, and he lives were I live, here in Sweden…

    I think the guy to the right is his cousine 😛

  7. Mattias Norén, I know this guy. And I spend all day online, looking for instances of this photo, so I can let people know that him and I are good pals. YAY RE!


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