Posted by: noadventure | February 19, 2013

F*ck Wallets


I hate having shit in my pockets. For the past few years, it has been my mission to carry less stuff. Simplify.

I dreamed of the idea of a phone that was a wallet. When I awoke, I looked on ebay, and there it was.


Looks like a regular phone case, right? Wrong, kimosabe. It can hold 2 cards in a little secret compartment in the back.


Driver’s license. Debit card. That’s it.

What about cash? Fuck cash. From now on, if I got to a restaurant and they only accept cash, I will use the ATM and never go back there. What about insurance cards? The authorities can figure that out later. We carry around too much stuff that we only use biannually or less. Simplify, holmes.

You should see my keychain. I’m down to just a vehicle and office key only. At my house, I put these things on every door that goes outside.


Not only am I stridently opposed to carrying extra stuff in my pockets, I’m also really good at losing things. With the keypad deadbolts, I never get locked out and I don’t have to carry a house key. Yeah, I know you’re probably saying one of two things right now:

1 “Old news. I’ve been doing the phone/wallet thing since 1986.”


2 “If you lose your phone you lose EVERYHING. The horror!”

My answer to the latter is, “Yes, you are completely correct.” Also, if you lose you car keys, you can’t drive your car.

If you lose your phone or your wallet normally, you’re fucked too. My way, there is just one less thing to lose. That’s a risk I’m willing to take.


Btw, if you want to hear me talk on a recent PODCAST if “On the fly with Uncle Walter” click away. I talk about and Fat City metal.



  1. “Fuck cash. From now on, if I got to a restaurant and they don’t accept cash, I will use the ATM and never go back there.”
    Did you mean “if they dont accept credit cards”?
    The banks get $$ from every credit card tranx, which sux. I use CC’s all the time, but I don’t penalize small biz’s that i like that don’t take cc’s.

  2. Mike loves The Man.

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