Posted by: noadventure | May 22, 2012

World’s Fakest Sports

FOR THE STREETCARNAGE VERSION CLICK HERE.

If you’ve been wasting your time Googling “nude winnie cooper,” than you are officially bored. In our current era of constant stimulation, it’s hard to stay focused on the things that really matter. How many times has your girlfriend complained during Top Chef when you watch with your computer on your lap and your iPhone in your hand? Theses ADD sports are officially terrible.

MMA Motocross

Finally Backflips and Beatdowns has finally skewered the market of motocross and MMA fans with one $15 event. The insurance for my friend’s small retail store is mind-boggling so it’s probably pretty affordable when you have hundreds of pounds of machinery flying over the heads of the audience while cagefighters try to make each other lose consciousness.

Check out the ATV flying over the cage at 1:17

Someone will always try to reinvent the wheel, despite the wheel having a pretty good track record for millenia. No doubt, you’ve probably come to the outer reaches of the Information Superhighway if you’re familiar with this gem.

Ultimate Tazer Ball

This brings a new level of chromosomal deficiency to participate in(whether player or spectator). Invented in Canada(shocker), the tournaments for this “sport” are held in Thailand and California, because Tazers are illegal in Canada.

SLAMBALL

Cheeseless rice, do we really need a basketball spinoff? Doesn’t basketball suck enough already? If the WNBA can lose money for  15 years, do you really think SlamBall has enough Mountain Dew and jizz soaked into it to make a profit?

Ultimate Ball

Ultimate Ball is such an unwatchable abortion that you should fast forward to the 1 minute mark to just get a taste of what this competition is about. Soccer/basketball/MMA/rugby in a cage is about the dumbest fucking thing I’ve seen British dudes do since the movie, Ali G Indahouse(Dictator?).

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