NO Adventure

South Louisiana is practically in the fucking Gulf of Mexico. One good way to spend your time in a place surrounded by water is to get in it. That’s right – get in the water and do some wakeboarding(AKA Florida snowboarding) Here’s how:

Step 1 – Get a boat.

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Boats can be fun on their own. Just cruising around and drinking cans of Coors Light(I would say Abita Amber, but I don’t like anything but pale beers when the sun is shining on me) can be mad fun.

Go ahead and mention to someone that you’re thinking of taking the boat out this weekend – they will cancel their plans to kick it with you out on the water. And why shouldn’t they? It’s balls hot in New Orleans in the summer time – if you are geting wet, you can actually laugh at the sun and tell it(the sun) to “fuck off.”

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Step 2 – If you don’t have a boat, make friends with someone who has a boat.

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Their are plenty of people who have boats just sitting there. Inspire them with the idea of a fun day of wakeboarding. If this doesn’t work, offer to buy the Coors Light(this will work).

Fuck it. Bring the dog along. He likes Coors Light too.

Now for the actual wakeboarding part. If you are a badass like this guy and can do flips and shit, quit reading. The next part is a how-to that will bore you to tears.

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Step 3 – Wakeboard.

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I’ve never waterskied(only wakeboarded), but I’ve heard wakeboarding is a little harder than skiing. I’ll try to make it as simple as possible. Sit with the board on your feet and your knees bent. The bottom of the wakeboard should be facing the boat with the ski rope perpendicular across the board. The line should be taut before the boat rips into action. I like to bend my knees so that the wakeboard is almost at my ass, but the top edge of the board is still above the water, of course. You arms should be straight and you should lean back. Signal for the boat to take off.

As soon as the board comes out of the water(starts to plane), let your lead foot go forward and get your stance(regular or goofy-foot). Stand up straight with your knees slightly bent. You are wakeboarding.

That’s my attempt at explaining it. I know it’s hard for some people and easier for some, but most people can get up at the end of a day of trying. It can be frustrating, but you’ll eventually learns what works for you.

Now that you know how to shred, support a Louisiana business like RUKUS – who have wakeboard shops all across South Louisiana. They even have a cool video at the end of this post I did on Surfing Louisiana.