NO Adventure

CONTINUED FROM Shinjuku Robot Museum Restaurant – Part 1

Two girls drove each robot which just spun around in an odd manner. The
robots arms moved up and down and the eyes winked, but that was about it. Despite
the poorly working robots, this was amazingly fun. The blonde wig-coifed girls were
very excited by these robots, however it appeared as if the robots were driving
themselves and the girls were simply moving the robots arms and winking eyes.
Apparently these robots were replicated from the fembots in a video game, called
Soul Calibur.

At this point I thought that our fun was over. What could possibly top automated
robots moving freely about with Japanese girls “driving?” Well, there was one more
performance. The finale featured a military theme that started out with a NOFX
song. I am certain Fat Mike and the rest of the iconic indie punk rockers are unaware
of how their music is being used in the Shinjuku Robot Museum Restaurant.

The girls all came out and danced around a little, then climbed aboard
something that resembled a B-2 bomber covered in multi-colored LED lights. The
plane was on a large track that traveled just over our heads. Then, as if that wasn’t enough firepower, a tank comprised
of LED lights made its way out onto the stage. The girls who were not on the plane
rode the tank. This was clearly a culture deeply affected by the 2nd World War.

There were so many amazing things about our trip to the Shinjuku Robot Museum
Restaurant. We were both shocked we received such an amazing show for
only $40. The two beers we received were included in the price. We would have
gladly dropped many more yen for drinks, but they were content with the
price of admission. I can’t say that anything else we did in Japan was that great of a
bargain as most things in Tokyo are insanely expensive.

Before going in, I thought to myself, “why would anyone want an adults-only robot
restaurant based on video game characters?” One would think that the establishment
would make a lot more yen off children wanting to go see their favorite video game
characters larger than life. After attending a show at the Shinjuku Robot Museum
Restaurant, I realized what a fool I was.

It was like a theme park show for video game perverts, but also just a really fun time.

In the end the experience was pretty wholesome. The girls never wore anything less than the Dallas cowgirl cheerleaders,
and the most sexual thing that happened was when one of the girls straddled the
LED tank as it was driving out for the finale. Compared to American television it was
pretty tame.

If you ever find yourself in Tokyo with 3000 yen to burn, I highly recommend the
Shinjuku Robot Museum Restaurant. There are two shows nightly: 7pm and
9pm. I suggest you show up early with an iTranslate app or have your
hotel front desk call and reserve your tickets ahead of time to avoid the last second
rush. Their website is: www.shinjuku-robot.com and it’s fantastic in its own right.

The food is terrible and the beer is watered down, but the poorly working robots, beautiful girls,
and enough LED lights to burn my brain made it the most fun I’ve had since riding Space
Mountain for the first time. Japan may not have a lot of drugs, but during the show
I felt as though I’d dropped acid; only my jaw was sore from laughing and
smiling instead of grinding my teeth.