Posted by: noadventure | March 4, 2009

Learn How to Fight

It’s probably been awhile since the last time you’ve been in a physical fight – that’s a good thing.

I know you’ve heard the lecture before about “violence is a last resort,” but it’s true. Nothing good comes out of it.

Scenario #1: You get your ass kicked or worse. This is bad for obvious reasons.
Scenario #2: You kick somebody’s ass. Now you’re probably getting arrested.

It’s a losing proposition. Imagine what a derelict you look like showing up to work with a black eye. Or what about the court date and legal stuff? Sucks. You’re not growing anymore teeth if you lose the ones you have(unless you’re 6 years-old).

All that being said, sometimes there is no other option. It’s unfortunate, but the world can be a less-than-savory place at times and you might want to learn how to defend yourself. If you are fighting, I’ll assume that your life is threatened – in which case, there are no rules and you should try to neutralize the situation at all costs. Let’s explore several fighting techniques that are designed to preserve the safety of the most important person: yourself.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu:

Every fight eventually ends up on the ground. BJJ is a ground fighting technique based on using leverage and chokes to nullify your opponents striking. It is beautifully executed here in this video from the 1980s as Royce Gracie takes on a strong kung fu expert.

Other examples of reality fighting techniques are BOXING(the old standby) and MUAY THAI. Unlike Karate or other “pretty” martial arts, boxing comes naturally; humans instinctually “put up their dukes” to prepare to fight. Muay Thai, another natural technique, is like kickboxing except you use 8 weapons: both fists, both legs, both knees, and both elbows. Muay Thai also embraces a part of street fighting that boxing ignores – the “clinch.” Clinch fighting or dirty boxing is often seen in MMA and even hockey where one fighter hits his/her opponent while simultaneously holding him.

In fighting, one minute is an eternity, so stay calm. Breath and stay loose. If you get locked up in a grappling situation try to use only 80% of your energy. Remember, you are trying to defend yourself, not just attack:

Double Knockout:

Always remain calm.

Attackers with weapons are a whole different ball game. That’s when you might have to bust out these clever moves:

Temple Gym(uptown on Magazine St.) is a local facility that teaches Muay Thai, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and even some general self defense classes. Here’s a commercial I did for NOLA BJJ:

In closing, don’t be an asshole. Stay out of fights.

See also: Tough Guys.



  1. I used to study chinese martial arts at nola shaolin (in bywater) before katrina. Then I practiced parkour for a while (the art of flight, rather than fight). After my baby is born I was thinking about checking out Temple Gym since I only live a few blocks away.

  2. Parkour is awesome. I’ve been doing my own version of it for years.

  3. That double knockout is crazy.

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