This is the Mississippi River Delta, and while it’s an excellent place to have as a port for America to the rest of the world, there hasn’t been alot of climb-able rock here for about 50 thousand fucking years.
Back in college, I worked at ClimbMax on Canal Boulevard, which is sadly no longer with us. In the tradition of MOVIE PITCHERS and the MERMAID LOUNGE, ClimbMax was a dingy little hangout that had a core crew that either climbed or loitered at the gym during all hours.
Current Rock Climbing options in New Orleans:
METEORITE IN AUDUBON PARK
Legend has it that this meteorite came from outer space and crashed right here on the golf course, smashing some guys foot and totally ruining the day(Ok, I just made that up). At around 6 feet tall, you can climb it pretty easily and get bored with it even easilier(really a word?).
Only a thirty minute drive from New Orleans, this gym is actually pretty damn tall and way fun.
My first experience at Slidell Rocks was quite a contrast to all the sweaty summer nights I spent pulling moves in ClimbMax with my bouldering buddies. This place is sterile and has ice-cold AC. You won’t be slipping off the holds or burying your hands in chalk.
Their bouldering cave also rocks.
HOME ROCK WALLS(AKA WOODIES)
Here is a photo of my home wall I built in my apartment in college. Yes, it was the nineties, but I still don’t know why I designed it to look like the cover of a Trapper Keeper.
There was a small clan of dudes who would come over and climb this tiny wall; the only thing I can compare it to is skateboarding with friends. We would climb at each other’s houses on our home walls, watch climbing VHS tapes, and bullshit endlessly about climbing and dream trips we would probably never take.
When I became an “adult” and moved into my first custom house, I decided I wanted to re-spark my love of climbing. Much to the disapproval of my wife, I commissioned a carpenter to build a 145 square footer in my den. Checkout the following embarrassing video from a themed couples shower we had before we got married.
1 I’m wasted.
2 The bald guy is my father-in-law.
3 I’m determined to climb a route without help.
4 Notice the 40oz beer bottle on the table.
No regrets on having that wall built(and thanks to my wife for taking care of my hangover).